Is that an umbrella in your waistband?

Why yes, yes it is.
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Despite specific reminder announcements on the train, lots of people leave their umbrellas behind. I see one orphan on the floor by the door now, and I took an empty seat next to one hooked over a handrail this morning.

Quite a few guys use this foolproof, if slightly unelegant, method: the belt hook.

I use a variant when I'm carrying too many things, hooking the umbrella onto my bag. I often forget it's there when I do this, though, sending it clattering to the floor as I get off the train. Talk about not elegant. I'm tempted to try to pull off the belt-hook manoeuvre, but even though another youngish guy in a nice suit was doing it on the train tonight as well as our rumpled friend above, it still reeks a little too much of absent-minded old man.

Deer in a bubble

I went to an art opening this weekend at SCAI the Bathhouse. I used to go to quite a few in New York as a press-pass-carrying party crasher. This was the first time in Tokyo. Quite similar - white walls, vehement opinions and clear plastic cups of white wine. The venue was different, though. The gallery is a beautiful old sento, or, you guessed it, bathhouse. The outside is intact and the inside is completely renovated as a gallery, though high original windows are retained.
I liked Kohei Nawa's exhibit. The centerpiece is two deer coated in clear balls. I wonder if Lady GaGa or her bubble dress designer has seen it?
SCAI the Bathhouse is between Nippori and Nezu stations. It has a nice website with lots of pictures and info in English. This show is up until October 30. Check it out.

We're closed: a word of encouragement for language learners everywhere

I walked into a local restaurant yesterday evening for about the dozenth time. The lights were off in the open kitchen. One guy was at the register counting money. The other was sitting at a table, doing something on a laptop. Chairs were stacked on top of most of the tables around him, and the front door was propped open awkwardly. I needed to talk to them about something, so I paused in the threshold for a moment, nodded, and walked in. They both sort of recognized me and and smiled, but then the money-counting guy frowned and said in Japanese, "Sorry, we're closed." I smiled, "Yes, I see that. But I'd like to talk to you about something." The money counter walked toward me and, looking stressed, said, "Sorry, but we're clooooosed."
I was pretty sure I'd used the right, rather simple, words and sulked internally that my pronunciation was so bad that they hadn't been able to understand me. As I was trying to find another way to say it, the guy at the computer said, "She knows that. She said she wants to talk to you about something." He had a heavy trace of "What're you, thick?" in his voice that was most gratifying.

And then we all chatted for a few minutes. But I'm going to end the conversation there, because that's where my point is for you, language learner. Sometimes people can't understand you because your pronunciation is bad and your word choice is way off. But sometimes, people can't understand you because they just can't. For whatever reason. Maybe they're not paying much attention. Maybe they don't hear so well. Maybe they don't expect that someone who looks like you would be able to speak their language. Those particular people, they probably wouldn't understand you even if you were both native speakers of the same language. (People with a common native language have trouble understanding each other all the time. This bears repeating when you feel like you're hopeless at learning a new language. Notice one day how many times you say "What?") On the other hand, some people will probably get you, more or less, no matter how badly you mangle the words.
 You won't always be lucky enough to have that second guy-who-gets-you sitting right there.  But for every person who gives you a blank, slightly panicked look when you start talking, remember that there's someone else out there who not only would have understood you, but who wouldn't even have known why anyone else would have trouble understanding you. Don't be discouraged. Keep talking, and you'll find those people.

Whirling Dervishes

There was music and entertainment in Sultanahmet Square every night for Ramazan. We stopped to watch some traditional musicians on stage for a few minutes at the small amphitheater. We were picking our way carefully over bulky cobblestones to head back to the hotel when I saw the next act standing to the side of the stage - three men in tall hats and floor-length white skirts. Dervishes! Lots of the restaurants in the area advertised evenings of fixed menus and performances. This seemed so much cooler, since we just stumbled upon it. The audience seemed like locals. There was a low-key street fair vibe, with families moving in and out of the long bench seats, kids getting restless, men talking on phones. The woman in front of me recorded video on her cellphone.
The whirlers were like nothing else. All they did was spin, slowly and then more quickly, raising their hands overhead. What was most fascinating was that even though they were doing the same thing, each had a distinct style. After a few minutes, I felt like I knew their personalities. The guy on the left was an artist. The one in the middle gets into really intense discussions. And on the far right, a hippie poet for sure. Maybe.

Last things first

While I was waiting at the gate for our flight home to board, wallet empty, I found a final five-lira note ($3.30) folded up in my pocket. I traded it with this machine for a bar of pistachio chocolate. (A can of Coke cost even more.)
A delicious last taste of Turkey.

Don't make your fellow passengers disappear

I couldn't make any sense of this and could only think our poor antihero finally got a win by staring at the space-hogging newspaper guy until he disappeared.
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But now I see he only used his magic hand to squish everyone together. Practice using the Force... at home?

Re-entering Tokyo's atmosphere

So, today was my first day back at work. My smarter half had arranged to take the day off. So he's all relaxed, has his pictures sorted out and thinks it was as cool and pleasant out all day as it was when he first set foot outside at dusk. Ha! I'm handling re-entry kind of like a piece of shuttle debris handles re-entry. But not quite as gracefully. I don't even know what the problem is, besides that my house key is AWOL, a lot of our friends left for good while we were gone and although it is as steamy as a hamam, there are no tan Turkish men standing by for scrubs and massages. I went to the loveliest of shady cafes yesterday, but couldn't get my head around an "appetizer assortment" of 5 olives, a few shavings of prosciutto and a few gumball-size orbs of mozz for 1200 yen. Bread? Extra. And jet lag kept me from falling asleep until four. Lack of sleep is my quickest personal shortcut to misery. Also, an old man elbowed me getting off the bus this morning. I swear he had to actually go out of his way to do it, too, because I wasn't blocking his path. It was like he was swimming up the aisle with a wide stroke, looking for something to jab. Feh.

Anyway, here's a few seconds of anti-commute. Repeat as needed. And like CNN and AP say when they don't feel like editing user footage, this video is raw. That is, the only sound on it is wind distortion. Sorry, video editing is next on my list of things to learn. Maybe mute it and put on some music you like?

And the answer is...

And wouldn't you know, it's nobody's business but the Turks.

(Come on, any other answer would have disappointed, right? Right?)

The trip was great. Turkey was hospitable beyond any expectation. Pics and posts to come. Jim has already put up some photos on Facebook (cough-overachiever-cough). So if you're friends with him, check 'em out. Also, he bought a fancy new camera right before the trip. When I compared what he was getting to what I was, suddenly, it seemed almost pointless to take pictures with my trusty point and shoot with the broken screen. (No, I'm not competitive, why?) But I did end up just kind of making suggestions about what would be good to take photos of with that nice camera instead of shooting my own sometimes. (Doesn't that sound charming?)

Highlights included an eating tour of Istanbul, abandoned buildings full of unexpected inhabitants on a Danube Delta island and a hot-air balloon ride over a surreal dawn landscape in Cappadocia.

Check back soon for these adventures and more!