So, that's a "no?"

I applied for a few jobs online. The kind where you submit your "resume" and "cover letter" by checking off and filling in some boxes, and then clicking "send." (A cover letter to which I got a favorable reply read, "I'm interested in part time work and I live near by.")

I expected the employers would either send back form letters requesting a real resume if our key words matched up, or if not, that they would just hit delete on the robo-application, no harm, no foul.

What I didn't expect was a formal page-long email reply a few days later.

The company who sent it has a name that sounds almost like a real English word and has Audrey Hepburn's face (two stories tall on their building) as their mascot.

To roughly translate:*
Based upon the materials you submitted, we carefully deliberated as to whether we would be able offer you a position that would make maximum use of your experience and abilities. However, our conclusion, after a second round of consideration, was that, regarding employment, providing a job that complies with your wishes is not now possible. It is with a great sense of regret that we ask for your understanding.

In closing, from the heart, we pray for your good health and success in all future activities.
Chief of Personnel


I'm sure I've gotten acceptance letters that were less flattering. Today's lesson: it takes no more energy send a conciliatory rejection letter than it does to send a curt one.

Audrey would be proud.










*I think it's cheating a little bit to pepper translations like this with "humbly" and "honorable," since it creates automatic hilarity in English, even though it's just proper usage of a certain polite register in Japanese. So I have resisted, but believe me, this was rife with "humblies."

pic from here